ext_472 ([identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] kalinda001 2008-09-03 11:42 pm (UTC)

Good for Vila, and I'm glad he's getting more respect, even if tinged with amusement.

I see it's time for more beating up Avon! ;-)

Avon asked with consternation, * Are you certain that you can’t read my mind? *

But she can; Avon talked to her just before with * Can you look in on Sester later? He might be hurt. *

Cally said cynically, "You can't fool me, Sester. It will be very convenient when Reya finally finds out what Argus did. Then you can seem noble in trying to protect their relationship, and she will be even more sympathetic towards you. And Argus will look even worse.”
“You’re much too cynical about me, Cally,” said Sester with a wry smile.


Two mentions of cynical; I'd knock out the first adjective for Cally.

Alright, lets discuss this

You need an apostrophe in "lets" as it's short for "let us".

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